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While you may have a few more aches and pains to contend with than you did at 20, if your date ends up concluding in the bedroom, the sex is “way better,” says Spencer.“You are far more relaxed about the whole situation and have had some practice, which gives you more confidence on your end.” While you may not have had a stable income, living situation, or healthy relationship precedents to build off of at 20, by 40, you’ve got a fair amount of your life figured out, making it easier to figure out your romantic life, as well.While it may seem like there are fewer singles to choose from at forty, the likelihood you’ll meet someone who shares a similar vision for the future is higher.“Most individuals that are single around middle age are looking to commit to a longer term partner, and so it’s more likely that the dater’s relationship goals will be aligned,” says Kenger.“After 40, there is a sense of being settled into life, established in a career, with good income, and a stable home,” says Katie Ziskind, licensed family therapist and owner of Wisdom Within Counseling, With these pieces in place, she explains, a person is able to “put more energy into dating,” making it more rewarding for both parties involved.For many people dating over 40, those questions about if and when kids will come along simply don’t come up.
Whether you’re still healing from the scars inflicted by past relationships or feel anxious about the fact that you’re still single, there’s no denying that dating can bring up some unpleasant feelings. Coulston, dating in your 40s means “you are more familiar with [these feelings] and have become accustomed to manag[ing] them.” Dating is easier after 40, says Dr.
Carissa Coulston, a clinical psychologist and author of The Eternity Rose blog, “is that some of the insecurities you may have had in your 20s are hopefully long gone.” At the very least, she says “you are more familiar with them.” Instead of letting that negative voice in your head get in the way of making a connection with someone, you can be yourself from the get-go.