Dating someone with alcoholism
Liz’s honesty and openness may have made for an uncomfortable conversation, but transparency and sincerity are an important part of any relationship’s foundation, sober or not.“Things were going really well then he started to pull away.
I questioned him on this and he ultimately came clean with the fact that he is currently in AA and working on his 12 steps and has been discouraged by his sponsor to date.”If your significant other needs to put their focus on recovery 110%, you should do anything you can to be supportive.
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As an adult, however, what you do know is pain and heartbreak.
Think back to those times in your past when you experienced profoundly deep pain.
You’re more likely to find someone who will not only be accepting of your past but who can also relate to you from their own experiences.
But – and this is a big but – you can start something with someone who is in AA even when you’re not.
These experiences don’t by any means amount to the exact same thing, but pain is, at the very least, relatable.
It’s like he thinks it didn’t really happen because he doesn’t remember it. He gets drunk, he screws up, he hears you out the next day, he says he’s sorry. Trust me, you will get tired of this endless cycle very quickly. It still won’t work, unless you’re willing to settle for a dysfunctional relationship.
If you have any spine whatsoever, get out of there. You wouldn’t be the first, but you’re better than that.
You don’t know what triggers his drinking or what his follow-through is like in general.
You said you’ve met recently, so I would imagine there’s plenty that you don’t know about each other.
It hurts like hell, but admit it — you’re already hurting.