Dating a self centered man
William suggested saying something along these lines: "Instead of throwing a tantrum and screaming, 'You never listen to me; you always make everything about you,' try saying, 'I really need to talk to someone about something bothering me. Instead, emphasize the benefits of their efforts to change so they can see how much better things can be.
Couples counselor Elly Prior of Professional Counselling offered, "Emphasize the benefits — to him or her, you and the relationship of a particular change or action, so that it builds their view of themselves of being 'good.'" If they see how much a simple tweak can make you happy and strengthen your bond, it'd be crazy for them not to put forth the effort.
Use positive affirmations like, 'I’m a really awesome person who doesn’t even mind sharing the last scoop of ice cream in the house.' If you've been dating longer than two months, chances are you and your partner had to work on other problems together to come to a happy medium.
When bringing up their selfishness, first bring attention to those past successes.
Prior offered, "Talk about what the two of you have achieved in terms of change and growth, however little.
Avoid pointing the finger." They'll remember how good it felt afterwards and be more inclined to do it.
That doesn't necessarily mean they're selfish all the time — chances are your honey does thoughtful and caring things throughout the week that you really appreciate, but slips up now and then when it comes to looking out for your needs.
Corporate counselor Skornia Alison at self development site Motivation Grid explained, "Try a 'turn-taking' experiment where both of you take turns to speak, listen, and do favors to each other.
Try: Love is a Verb , .99, Amazon If your partner is having a particularly selfish week, take a break from them to focus on yourself.
After a couple of days not hearing from you they'll ask what's up, and you can explain why distancing yourself like this is necessary for your well-being. Lauren Stewart from Elite Daily pointed out, "It can seem harsh to tell someone you need to take a break because he or she is draining your energy.
It only sets you up for being emotionally drained and hurt." So show yourself love — indulge in hobbies, make time for self-care, focus on your own needs and put theirs on the back burner. Sometimes we don't know we're acting selfish until someone spells it out for us, so speak up.
But don't do it an aggressive way or else that'll just tailspin into a fight. Check Out: Communication Miracles for Couples , , Amazon If you toss a one liner like "You need to change ASAP" at your partner, they're just going to think you're nagging.
But one great way to make sure you get the love you need when you need it is to be super clear what you need at that moment.