Consequences of dating too young
An age gap may be one dimension of your relationship, but it’s unlikely to define it.
Indeed, a recent poll showed that most Americans consider love (88 percent), commitment (81 percent), and companionship (76 percent) as important reasons for marrying—and these have very little to do with age.
In other words, having supportive friends and family could be particularly useful for age-gap relationships. Whether having a biological child or adopting, parenting in your 20s or early 30s could feel different from parenting in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, and couples would benefit from being on the same page about whether parenthood should be in their future. Age gaps can create challenges for retirement planning. It’s not easy when one person is thinking about short-term fun while the other has long-term ambitions.
suggests to “plan for the younger partner,” which in some circumstances can mean delayed retirement for the older spouse. Such incompatible relationship goals are not unique to age-gap relationships; however, certain age-related factors could play a part in goals.
When remarrying, only 57 percent of men marry women about their same age; 20 percent choose women who are 10 or more years younger, and 18 percent choose partners six-to-nine years younger.
In the same study, women reported being the older spouse only 11 percent of the time.
In fact, one of the biggest risk factors for poor marital outcomes is getting married young. Part of the reason is that these folks tend to have short courtships, but it’s also the case that individuals’ identities or self-concepts tend to shift throughout adolescence and emerging adulthood.
It’s very hard to know who is a good fit for you when who ‘you’ are is still shaking out.
Your approach is probably a good one if this does indeed describe your relationship.
What you have to realize there are many very different reasons for age-disparity relationships.
For example, in the case of middle-aged men marrying younger women, it's not unusual for it to be a marriage that broke up because the wife went into menopause and lost all interest in intimacy, while the husband is still vigorous and youthful, and he hooks up with a younger and emotionally mature woman who is sick and tired of immature men her own age who don't have a job and still live in his parents' basement entertaining himself with video games and porn. Again, this is only to say that each of these circumstances involve UNIQUE matches.
Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to get our articles delivered directly to your News Feed. Loving’s research addresses the mental and physical health impact of relationship transitions (e.g., falling in love, breaking up) and the role friends and family serve as we adapt to these transitions.
How many years are between you and your significant other?
But, couples who cohabit prior to marriage for practical reasons and plan to someday marry all along fare better (and in some respects may fare better than those that didn’t cohabit), especially because these couples have had practice confronting and working through life and relationship stressors.