Avoidant personality disorder and dating
His reasons for moving out: From one day to the next his personality seemed to change. Once he moved out, he became very controlling of our communication.
In the past, he hardly ever expressed anger (which felt oppressive in the house--no one was really allowed to be angry and so I started walking eggshells); since the day that he moved out he has been coldly angry with and dismissive of me. He wanted me to email him only, and then he would not respond.
and i don't know where I am going with this I am just having a moment right now and i will likely delete this in like a hour because that is me.
sorry if i wasted your time on this read Hi Y'all, I'm new here.
We have been together for 7 years and he has never seen me behave like that so I don't know where he gets that from.
About a month and a half ago I went NC bc his communications with me were very hurtful and confusing and I knew I was dealing with something that was beyond my ability to cope and I needed to pull myself together. I am wondering if anyone has any experience with what we are going through and tips for how I can handle it. I was really good at going to school and I got good grades with little effort.
When I talk with the people from my university years (the only close friends I have) I always have a nagging feeling of regret, failure and envy.
Jobs and careers are an important part of peoples' identities but I don't feel like I have a secure professional identity. People around my who are my age or younger are buying houses, going to nice restaurants and traveling the world.
it's weird because i'll be totally indifferent/not really caring about a person who i am acquainted with, but if i find out they don't like me or they have said something mean about me to someone else -it's literally all i can think about, and the thoughts are so intrusive and intense that i will be around people doing something completely else and then boom- they just hit and my face contorts to like this weird cringe/embarassment/perplexed/sad look and/or i will verbally berate myself on reflex out loud ..now this whole room of people is looking at me like did she just eat something bad or asking what i said under my breath/why am i calling them a 'dumbass' (if they heard me- even though i was referring to myself not them).. I then do this thing where I profusely text apologize to the person who caused the thoughts in the first place in order to get rid of them...Since then I have been stuck in entry level IT jobs.